The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
