Jerry, you need to find god
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
