Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
