but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
