I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Of course I have a pirate flag
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
