dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
