Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
