his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
