I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
