FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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