Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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