I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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