are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
This baby is an asshole
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
