I just saw a hot homeless man
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
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WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
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i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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