I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
