Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
