I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
This is the high leading the old right now
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
there is glitter all over my balls
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
