i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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