This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
