I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
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