He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
