I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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