i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
