Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
