I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
