May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
