I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I need to calm my uterus...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
