i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
