How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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