you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
