i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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