WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You are the jesus of drinking
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
