At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
