Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
