Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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