i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
