Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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