so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
