it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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