Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet