Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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