i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
