I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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