can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize