I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
