tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
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