just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize