yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
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I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
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You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize