No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Randomize
