wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
