oh god the rape fog is back!
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
