I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Randomize
