I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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