Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
