sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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