he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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