This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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