I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
