I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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