there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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