New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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