I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Randomize
